When I was trying to wrap my mind around the words I’d been told about my newborn son, it was more than I could bear.
I didn’t understand what they said – Down syndrome, holes in his heart, lungs that wouldn’t turn on. They called him the sickest baby in the NICU. It was more than I could bear to have my newborn taken from me before I could look at his face and transferred to a NICU an hour away, while I had to stay put to recover from the emergency c-section. It was more than I could bear to be separated from my three and four year old children while my newborn fought to live in the NICU for 34 days.
Yet I’ve often heard the quote, “God will not give you more than you can bear.”
My mind swirled in dark pools, threatening to let anxiety overtake me. My dad was extremely concerned on the day he reminded me that it was time to SING. (Isaiah 54) My friends report that as they prayed over the situation, they felt peace about Redmond, but a sense of urgency to pray for ME. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t quote all the Scripture I’ve memorized over the years. I could only croak out songs of praise and thanksgiving, trust and surrender, through broken tears.
The quote above is taken from 1 Corinthians 10:13, which is about TEMPTATION. It’s not about our ability to carry the pressure that life can lay on us.
Life can most certainly hand us circumstances that are more than we can bear.
2 Corinthians 1:8-9 says, “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
Why does God allow His children to suffer? Is He mad at us? Have we disappointed Him? Have we stepped out from under the umbrella of His protection? Do we lack faith?
Scripture says that God allows us to suffer so that we stop relying on ourselves. We must learn to rely on God.
God can speak a word and the whole situation will resolve. God can unleash unrestrained power, heal all Redmond’s health problems, and I would sing praise. I would tell everyone about what He had done.
But He hasn’t.
He has so much to teach me. I still have so much to learn.
I won’t stop asking, thanking God in advance, and expecting complete healing. There may be more times when the pressure is too great for me to handle. I will continue to cling to my Savior with all my might and say, “Thy will be done in me.” I’m so thankful that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
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