Updated: Aug 2, 2020
CONSISTENCY. That’s my word for 2020.
My inconsistent January of 2020 meant that it was the last two days of the month before I determined what I will work on this year.
My life, like most, is busy and complicated at times. I’ve made it that way, and I’ve had it made for me. I’ve chosen many of the fun and interesting parts of my life. What I didn’t choose was the incredibly difficult parts: most recently, the helplessness of seeing my baby writhing and screaming in pain while I beg God to fix it. I choose my son – over and over – but I didn’t choose to be plunged into a world of sometimes unthinkable suffering that we must walk through.
God calls to me (in the middle of suffering) to consider all that there is to accomplish for His kingdom. There are stories to tell, worlds to change, and eternity to consider. Yet, each time my son has been plunged into the darkness of overwhelming health challenges, I have spiraled emotionally. I have shut down anything that doesn’t help us survive, picking up the pieces later when the strain lifts. This is an unhealthy coping pattern I now see that I developed long before he entered the world.
Life is hard sometimes, and it’s high time to look for better ways to handle it.
Yesterday’s verse of the day, in The Message version (which is helpful to me at times because it allows me to see familiar verses in a fresh way), was this:
In light of all this, here’s what I want you to do. While I’m locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk – better yet, run! – on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline – not in fits and starts, but steadily pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. – Ephesians 4:1-3
For the last two years – after many years of whispering “Wait” – God has been challenging me to “Go! Go! Go! RUN!” This verse convicts me that not only should I be running, but doing it with disciplined steadiness!
In 2020, I will focus on strengthening the muscles that God has called me to use to RUN the race laid out for me. I will be obediently consistent and steadily pour myself out for others in acts of love.
I receive this message literally and figuratively. My gym membership is back. I let it slide because I believed the lie that my health comes second to that of my family. The truth is that a weak and sick mama doesn’t make for strong and healthy children, and my healthcare team is encouraging me to change my perspective.
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I will consistently move my body for at least 30 minutes every day, and I will make consistently healthy food choices. I will also consistently practice spiritual disciplines, including studying Scripture, fasting, praying, singing, and sharing my testimony of God’s goodness.
The foundation is laid and the building materials are there. It’s time to step over the obstacles and get to work building The Kingdom. Lord, help me. I cannot do this alone.
What are you focusing on for 2020?