"I'm not enough"
Updated: Jul 28, 2020
To listen to an audio recording of this post, click here: https://soundcloud.com/kimberly-wyse-900906660/i-am-not-enough (3 minutes, 40 seconds)
A preacher I watched on YouTube recently talked about that lie in our heads and I thought, "nah. I don't listen to that one." Fast forward several hours and I decided to get on social media to see what I missed in the last few hours.
And there it was: a post that caused those old, jealous feelings to try to raise their ugly heads. Feelings that say that another woman's success is a threat to me. Feelings that say what I'm doing is not enough.
I am not _____ enough.
It's an ugly thing - that voice that counts "likes" and comments and let's them determine my sense of worth. In the middle of that mental attack, my daughter let me know that she'd judged my appearance and it was lacking. I am not _____ enough.
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The truth is that I listen to that lie all day, every day. But is it a lie? By the world's standards, I am definitely NOT enough. I'm not talented enough. I'm not thin enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not eloquent enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not a good enough mom, wife, daughter, or friend. On and on.
But the lie isn't that I'm not enough for the standards of this world...
THE LIE is that I'm not enough for what God has called me to do.
Of course I'm not enough for this fickle world. Who is? And exactly which person or group of people do we expect to measure up to, because everyone has different expectations? Jesus was perfect and we crucified Him. The Holy Spirit that lives inside us makes us enough. He takes our "not _____ enough" and works through us anyway to create something beautiful. Because we know just how far we are from enough, we have no doubt that it is only through Christ that we can accomplish anything of value.
When I remember this truth, I can celebrate the success of others without jealousy.
I can even believe that there's something that God has put within each of us that we can only tap into when we are focused on Him - something that IS enough:
a special gift He's put inside only us.
There's no greater fulfillment or place of contentment than when we've courageously tapped into the gift He's put inside us and we're using it for God's glory.
I am not enough, but God is - and the stuttering, lying, uneducated, rough, and loud ones are who He uses time and time again.*
Every tiny step we take forward to walk into our calling, to be courageously obedient even when it challenges our fragile sense of worth or what we believe we're capable of doing - every single step forward is progress. I will not give up. Will you join me in committing to total obedience to God, even when it feels impossible? That is God's specialty.
*Stuttering - Moses (Exodus 4:10)
Lying - Abraham (Genesis 12:10-13:1)
Uneducated - Peter (Acts 4:13)
Rough - Amos (Amos 1:1)
Loud - James and John (Mark 3:17)
There are a bunch of women who fall into these categories in the Bible too. Look up Jael, Deborah, Rahab, and Tamar.
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