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Getting to Know You

From our first weekend together, 23 months ago, I felt like Rick and I knew and understood one another really well. I didn’t have to explain things to him about myself. He had me figured out from the beginning. We had so much fun together and I felt free to by myself.

On our honeymoon I asked him if we had to be one of those couples who don’t shut the bathroom door. I mean, really? Aren’t we entitled to some dignity and privacy within our marriage? He agreed with me and we had a sense of mystery in our relationship.

We were going along quite nicely with that standard for the first few months. The house was clean. I made hot meals every day. He found clean clothes neatly folded in his drawers as if by magic. I brought him drinks and snacks while he worked. I took regular showers. He cleaned the bathroom and washed the floors. Ahhh…

But now I’m pregnant. As joyful as this time is for us, I’ve felt like I have the flu for the last six weeks. Rick has gone from having a capable and cheerful wife to a wife who spends much of her day on the couch looking slightly green. He now makes cold ham sandwiches for lunch and eats cereal for supper. And he cleans up after me when I get sick. He does the laundry and often the dishes too.

I’ve been told I’m no longer allowed to apologize to him for the terrible wife I’ve become. He’s happy to know I’m exhausted and sick because our child is growing inside me. He doesn’t complain about helping out around the house and cleaning up after me. Today he saw that my water was almost empty, and knowing that the simple act of walking around often makes me vomit, he brought me more. I can’t imagine going through this with anyone else.

So we’re getting to know one another much better than ever these days. I look at pictures of couples on Facebook who’ve been married for years and not had a child and they look so calm and peaceful and happy. And I think – but do they really know one another like Rick and I are learning to? Ha! Maybe they don’t want to know one another that well!

An old Amy Grant song lyric says, “it’s in the darkest times true love finally grows/come on true love grow”. This “dark” time is filled with joy too. Isn’t that just the way life is? With joy comes difficulty, with difficulty comes growth and new levels of maturity. As we continue to muddle through this new level in our relationship, we continue to grow in intimacy and love. I’m thankful that if I have to know ANYONE this well, it’s him.

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