You don't need to wait for God to act on Your behalf. He already has and is.
All of my life, I've been waiting for God to release me into the next thing - THE thing I felt called to do. I chafed and even raged, begging and aching for what I didn't have. I twisted myself inside out with self-improvement projects, spiritual disciplines, and sometimes outright sin in an effort to get where I thought I should be for God. I was literally trying to help God fulfill the promises He'd made to me through my works. The ridiculousness of getting involved in sin to make something that the Lord promised me come to pass isn't lost on me today.
About two years ago, I went on a spiritual retreat. My goal was to spend uninterrupted time in prayer and Bible study to discern what the next step God wanted me to take (to get closer to being who He'd called me to be) was. I was looking for renewed motivation and energy.
When I got to the retreat, it became apparent that I was exhausted in the very core of my being. The previous three years had required unrelenting survival that turned into drivenness. The four years before that hadn't been easy either. God spoke one clear message to me: "You don't have to work so hard."
I'd become so tightly wound, trying to hustle enough to become the person worthy of my calling, that those three days of complete rest were necessary to detox from working almost every moment that I wasn't sleeping. I slowly submitted to the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Kimberly, why are you working so hard? I gave you permission to run, but you've taken it too far.
I'd spent years fasting, praying, and begging God for what I had in that moment. Instead of enjoying the fruit of answered prayers, I lived in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. Instead of relishing these tremendous gifts, I worked so much that I missed out on them. God clearly showed me that all my efforts weren't going to bring about the change I sought any faster.
So I repented and laid it down. I settled into "right now" and learned to trust more. I stretched out my arms to the ones I was so grateful to be able to love. Coming to my senses, the striving and fretting stopped. I didn't stop working, but I placed boundaries around my work to protect my family. My attitude changed from thinking it was all up to me to absolutely understanding that it was all up to God. My job is obedience. God's job is everything else.
There's a new season coming. I'm attentively watching for it, and I'm settled in my spirit that the season I'm in right now is directed by God. I'm exactly where I need to be. There's so much freedom here. I can create and minister and parent and sing and volunteer and work, and I can rest.
If you're following God and eager to do what He's laid on your heart, not living in deliberate sin, you're currently in the right season. You are cherished by the God of the universe. He's working on your behalf. He gives His beloved rest. You don't have to work so hard. God's plan for your life isn't going to be sped up or slowed down by your performance. He's created you to be exactly who you are, He's prepared good works in advance for you to do, and your job is to walk in obedience.
You are free to rest.
You are free to rest.
You are so, so free to REST.
Ephesians 2:8-10 CEV
You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. This is God's gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own. It isn't something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about.God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live. This is why he sent Christ to make us what we are.
Psalm 27:2 APM
It is vain for you to rise early, To retire late, To eat the bread of anxious labors— For He gives [blessings] to His beloved even in his sleep.
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